Here they are – 5 types of men that can never satisfy a woman sexually. As usual, I compiled this list based on interviews, seminars and discussion groups I have conducted with women.
MEN WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH A WOMAN’S BODY
He touches you tentatively, ladies, as if he is an anthropologist examining some new species of mammal. He gropes around your body parts with uncertainty as if he’s touching them for the very first time, and you feel like an alien being examined on the TV show The X-Files. He does the wrong things to the wrong places with such confidence that it makes you wonder who taught him this stuff “Does he really think that feels good?” you wonder, counting the seconds until it’s over. Apparently he does, because all the while he appears to be enjoying himself immensely as you lie there praying that he’ll get a muscle cramp, or a sudden fit of coughing, and have to stop this torture of ineptness.
Sex is a vulnerable experience for a woman. So putting ourselves in the hands of a man who acts as he doesn’t know what he’s doing is a real turn-off maybe he does know what he’s doing, but he’s nervous about not pleasing us – this makes him super- cautious. Guys like this check with a woman every ten seconds because they’re so worried about doing the wrong thing. They touch you a few times, and then ask, “Do you like that?” Whether you say yes, no, or maybe, they will ask you again in another few seconds: “How does that feel?”, “what about this?”, “would you like me to do more of this or less?” At some point, you are tempted- to scream, “Would you please shut up and satisfy me? Better-yet. I think I’ll go read a book!”
Why do men do this? Sometimes it’s because they really aren’t very experienced or educated about a woman’s body, and in this case – especially if they’re young – you can forgive them and have them being their instructor. Sometimes a man becomes too tentative because he had a relationship before you with Bitchwoman, who terrorized him in, and out, of bed, criticizing every move, tearing apart every attempt he made to please her. Or sometimes they’re men with heavy guilt issues who freeze up when they actually get in bed with a naked woman.
Guys, if you don’t feel confident about your knowledge of a wyman’s body get yourself an education. Buy some explicit books; study all the pictures and diagrams careflully; ask your lover to give you a guided tour of her anatomy. We’re really not that hard to figure out.
MEN WHO DON’T TAKE TIME TO GET A WOMAN PROPERLY AROUSED
“Why does he think I’m ‘ready’ just because he’s kissed and stroked me a couple of times?“ –Thelma, 25.
“My husband’s idea of foreplay is asking: ‘Do you want to do it tonight?’ And he wonders why! don’t like having sex with him” –Yari, 28.
It starts out all right. Your partner kisses you, holds you, caresses you, and you’re beginning to warm up. Suddenly, he seems to feel he’s done and ready to move on, and before you know what’s happening, he climbs on top of you and begins to insert his penis into your vagina. OUCH!
Guys, if you had this done to you even one time, you’d never, never do this to a woman again. Do you know how small the vaginal opening actually is when it isn’t aroused? Much smaller than your penis, to be sure. For most of us, three minutes of foreplay is not enough to make us fully, or even partially, open. Remember what we talked about: Women’s bodies take much longer than a man’s to respond. I always like using the car analogy – you wouldn’t take your car from first to fourth gear without warming it up properly.
One of the reasons many women claim they prefer all other parts of lovemaking to intercourse is that men are too quick to go there, If it’s not a pleasurable experience for us, we won’t want to do it very often. Soon, we’ll avoid it entirely, and you’ll wonder why, guys. Maybe it’s because you didn’t take enough time getting us warmed up.
Let me clear up two major misconceptions men have about the female body that contribute to this problem:
1. The inside of vagina is not like a big inside-out penis. I mentioned this in first article, but I’ll remind you again: The vagina isn’t a big circular penis. Just because you put your penis inside of woman doesn’t mean it automatically feels wonderful to us – especially if we’re not open or wet enough. Sure, it feels fantastic for you, guys, because your penis is one big nerve ending. Don’t make the mistake, however, of thinking that we’ll be in bliss the moment you air inside of us. If we’re not properly prepared, being in pain is more like it
2. just because a woman is lubricated doesn’t mean she is turned on and ready. When guys “check the roast” and feel a little moisture, they often take this as an indication that they don’t have to do any more work to prepare their lover for penetration. “She’s ready!” they conclude, and proceed to try to squeeze themselves into her vagina But being lubricated and being open are two different things. The vagina can be moist due to all kinds of factors that have nothing to do with arousal, it could be a certain time of the month when, hormonally, we’re more lubricated; we could be affected by our diet, by emotions, by medication we’re taking. Don’t assume just because we’re wet that we’re ready. Our body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to us.
MEN WHO MISHANDLE A WOMAN’S BREASTS
‘Why does my boyfriend squeeze my breasts like they’re fruits he’s checking for ripeness? Doesn’t he know that this totally turns me off How would he like it if I squeezed his testicles?” –Jenifer, 24.
“Could someone please explain to men that women’s breasts don’t need to be massaged like the shoulders or the neck do? My breasts don’t get muscle cramps; they don’t get tense. They don’t need physical therapy.” -Trisha, 31
Guys: You grab them; you squeeze them; you jiggle them like they’re water balloons. We have one question for you: If you love them so much, why are you doing these terrible things to our breasts?
Why do you mistake our breasts for dough and knead them?
When we said we wanted you to need us, we meant emotionally, not physically as if we were an unbaked loaf of bread. Our breasts are not dough. Nor are they jugs, bazookas, knockers, or melons.
They are very tender, very vulnerable part of our female form. They do not enjoy being mishandled.
I’ve never understood why men do this. Perhaps, ladies, they become so enthusiastic upon seeing our glorious breasts that they can’t control themselves and squeeze us with delight. Perhaps thru saw one too many bad porno films where some obviously male diretor told the male lead to squeeze Nurse Nancy’s size DDDD breast, that this would turn the viewers on. Well, maybe Nurse Nancy liked it (although I doubt that, but most women don’t. We prefer caressing, stroking, teasing, tickling, gentle rubbing – anything you wouldn’t do to dough.
One more thing: Women hate having our breasts grabbed first thing when you see us, even if we’ve lived with you for years. Here’s a hint — say hello; make eye contact; give us a kiss; stroke our arm hold our hand; but don’t grab our breasts as if they’re doorbells you need to ring as a greeting.
If you learn to treat our breasts with respect, we will look forward to the times when you visit them. Maybe then we’ll use them to do special things to you. Use your imagination!
MEN WHO HAVE NO NIPPLE ETIQUETTE
While we’re in the vicinity of the breasts, we might as well go on to one of women’s biggest sexual tum-offs: men who are very rude to our nipples. Guys, apparently some of you are very confused. You mistake our nipples for radio knobs, twisting and turning them as if you’re looking for the right channel: “Come in, Tokyo!” (I actually had a man say that to me once while he manipulated my nipples. I think he thought it was funny.) Perhaps you’re so used to playing around with your stereo equipment that you just enjoy twisting anything that looks remotely like a button. Men love dials and controls. That’s fine, guys, but leave our damn nipples alone!
Then there are those of you who obviously did not get breast-fed. You would think that our nipples were dispensing beer, or cappuccinos, or milk shakes – whatever your favorite beverage is — by the way you suck on them as If you’re desperately trying to get some liquid out, OUCH! It hurts, guys, and we can be sore for days. Not to mention the by-product of nipple abuse — chapped and chafed nipples — which can be very painful, indeed.
Of course, no discussion of nipple etiquette would be complete without mentioning the notorious “nipple flickers,” men who think they’re playing tiddledywinks with a woman’s nipples. What are you doing, trying to see if they will come off? If you flick hard enough, they just might.
Here’s the bottom line on women’s nipples: We do love having our nipples stimulated. When treated properly, they are a direct line to our genitals. The right techniques can really turn a woman on. But a woman’s nipples are very sensitive, more so than a man’s, especially at certain times of the month. What you might like us to do to you, guys, may be way too rough for you to do to us. Be sensitive; be gentle; be respectful.
The best expert on nipples is the woman you love. Ask her what she likes. Some women do like more pinching, squeezing, or biting, particularly when they’re very aroused. Some almost never like that, and prefer lighter, more teasing touches or licks. Don’t assume you know what she wants until you’ve done your homework.
MEN WITH POOR HYGIENE
How can you think we don’t notice, guys? I’m sure you don’t intentionally want to gross us out. Yet you have these “habits” that are just – how to put it – DISGUSTING! “Doesn’t he realize how he smells”, “Doesn’t it bother him to live like that?” We ask ourselves these questions, baffled that a perfectly nice man can have such poor hygiene.
Remember Women get turned on in their heads and hearts first. That includes our eyes and our noses. It’s hard to want to make love to a man whose physical presence turns our senses off’.
I couldn’t believe how many comments I received about this on my surveys – not just from single women who date a lot but from wives about their own husbands. So here are just some of women’s complaints. WARNING: These are uncensored so read them at your own risk preferably, not on a full stomach.
WHAT WOMEN HATE:
Untrimmed, jagged, or dirty nails: Why would we want you to put those hands anywhere near us, let alone inside of certain delicate places? Nothing turns us off faster than being touched and, suddenly feeling a sharp, jagged nail or cuticle scraping across our skin. OUCH! And the dirt under the nails is going to condemn you to many sexless nights.
Rough calluses on hands. Same as above. We don’t need to feel like we’re being exfoliated while you make love to us.
Sweaty, smelling unclean body
Need I say more? Guys, can you smell yourself? I don’t mean the nice, musky smell of a man’s natural perspiration that can be a turn-on to the woman who loves you. I’m talking about an unwashed body reeking of stale sweat.
I’m talking about guys who do not bathe often enough. I’m talking about Mr. Stinky. And YOU want to make love to us when you’re like that? Why would we want you anywhere near us? Masculine is one thing -filthy is another.
Dirty, smelly feet and socks: You are about to get in bed with the man you love. You’ve been looking forward to making love all day. You both begin to undress. Then, it happens – he takes off his shoes. UGH, that smell! Could it be coming from his feet? You hope it’s just his socks, but no; as he removes them, it becomes clear that his feet basically stink to high heaven. Suddenly, you’re not in the mood for sex anymore.
Feet can be very erotic and sexy.
They can also be totally gross. Perhaps men forget about them because they’re the body part that’s the farthest away from their face, and it’s hard to see them. Perhaps you can’t smell them, guys. But we can smell them, and we can see them, and if they’re horrible, it’s difficult to think of you as a sexy, desirable dream-come-true.
Dirty cloths and underwear
Why is it that some men think an item of clothing is clean when it can practically walk out the door by itself? How are we supposed to get turned on to you, guys, when you’re wearing dirty, rumpled shirts, stained pants – and let’s not forget underwear that isn’t exactly “fresh”?
Bad heath and dirty teeth
He’s in the mood for sex. He approaches us, opening his arms and embracing us passionately. Then he places his mouth on ours for a kiss. Geez, did something die in there? His breath is awful. Doesn’t he realize this? Apparently not.
Guys, if you want us to get turned on, please keep your mouth and teeth clean. That means not just brushing once a day, but often, and using mouthwash, mints, or whatever it takes. Make your mouth so delicious that we want to kiss it.
Let’s get one thing clear: A woman’s sexual fantasy does not usually include having someone run sandpaper over her delicate, tender skin. But that’s what it feels like, guys, when you don’t shave and then want to make love. it hurts. If you don’t believe me, take a piece of sandpaper and rub it over your testicles. Nice, huh?
We know shaving is a drag. But so is being scraped and scratched in the middle of sex. Check your beard before you approach us to make love. If you wouldn’t like to feel it running across your skin, neither would we. Besides, a man Who’s freshly shaven is definitely a turn-on.
MEN WHO WANT TO HAVE SEX
WHEN THEY’RE DRUNK OR HIGH
Let’s see: Do I want to make love to a man who is incoherent; not completely cognizant of his behavior; saying and doing stupid things; talking too loud; laughing at nothing; numb to his feelings; spaced out; lacking in good motor skills; and possibly about to vomit? I don’t think so.
Maybe there are some women who regularly use drugs and alcohol in substantial amounts and like being with a man who’s doing the same thing. The truth is, there are people who’ve never made love without being high on something. Either they don’t want to or they can’t. That’s a whole other topic. But for many women, guys, your being inebriated or stoned is simply a big turnoff.